groundspeed

Reading Buddies

Toby was whiny and I needed to cook dinner. I told him to read to Teddy.

It worked better than I could have hoped. Oh and that's my teddy bear from when I was a kid. He's magical.

Toby's Feet, Kaden's Cleats

At one point today  when I told Toby to get in the van he instead put on Kaden's cleats that were sitting by the door and wound his way through the cluttered part of the garage (because walking in too-big cleats wasn't hard enough).

He was pleased with himself.

Terrible Monday Vs Terrific Husband

Score one for the husband.

But first a little back story:

In the past, around Valentines day, I've taken time to blog about my all my boyfriends. (As in, Kevin and the kids.) Well, it's still February and I wanna take a moment to brag on my main love, The Husband.

Valentines Day was oh-so-romantic. Kevin had to fly and was gone before I got out of bed. I woke up to a text wishing my a happy Valentine's and reminding me to make Kaden wear his cup that evening at his baseball game. Ah, thirty-something love when you have young kids.

The next night I made the shrimp linguine dish that is our tradition.

And that was our Valentines. I wrote Kevin a love note and he bought me a little journal where he wrote something sweet. The purpose of this journal is for HIM to keep adding to it.  Sounds romantic, huh.  Uh yeah, until he said, "See! This way I never have to buy you cards anymore." Points canceled. That was it for presents. In January we bought a van and new phones. That's enough in the present department until... maybe forever.

Friday night we had dinner at my mom's and then left the kids behind. Woo-hoo! Except what do you do when you're trying not to spend any money and you have a date planned for the following evening? (Add to the van, iphone list the fact that in January we paid our property taxes and our conference fees for the 2012 Fragile X conference in Miami - we are so broke.)

We could have redboxed a movie but we were going to the movies the next night (gift cards! free date!) so what do broke nerds do for fun? We downloaded scrabble to our phones for $1 and sat shoulder to shoulder on the couch for some fierce word combat. (Ok, that wasn't our only fun for the evening, but this is supposed to be a G rated blog.)

Saturday night, mom still had the kids, and we went out on our gift cards - Chilis and a movie (The Vow - it was, after all, our belated Valentines date) and then we went to Barnes and Noble. In the old days we would go to Barnes and Noble, split a frappe, and read things to each other from magazines or books we'd picked up. This past weekend we split the frappe and played more scrabble. Because playing scrabble isn't nerdy enough - we had to up the ante and play scrabble in a bookstore.

That is my very long and overly detailed way of saying we are so made for each other.

And then came Monday.

Oh Monday. President's Day. All the kids home, so a leisurely morning because we didn't have anywhere to be until Toby's 9:30 speech apt. All was well. All were dressed, fed, there was laundry in the washer, laundry in the drier, laundry in a basket half-way put away - good start to the day. Until Toby throws a fit in the driveway instead of being his usual merry self who climbs into the van and sometimes even lets Kaden buckle him. It took much strength to pin and strap and confine, but finally he was rightly buckled and we were back on track, a favorite CD working some calming-down magic.

Speech was fine. Next up my monthly "back crack." Toby is always with me on these apts. He keeps the desk gals on their toes, but it's usually a quick 20 minutes and we all survive. With brothers to entertain it should be an even easier visit. Ha! 

Walk through the door and Toby throws himself on the ground and starts kicking. Oh no, that's not embarrassing. I thought I was going to have to go back to the car and fetch snacks, but then I noticed a basket of Valentine candy on the counter and grabbed a pack of conversation hearts. Slowly doled, the hearts lasted us until I needed to pay and re-schedule.  Mega-fit Toby returned. I picked him up and he beat and scratched me. Embarrassing AND painful. I managed to pay and said I'd call to reschedule. 

More muscles needed to pin and buckle as Toby fought me and his car seat. I was starting to lose it.

Next up - the beach.

And I so was NOT excited because A. Toby was being unpredictable and B. it was chilly. Sunday was 82 and then no-school Monday and the temps barely brush 70. What is that about?  But the beach bag and a picnic lunch were packed and I didn't have an alternate plan so.... off we went.

Get to the beach, unload, hand Blue and Kaden stuff to carry, try to do a quick change on Toby only to discover he'd pooped. Quick changes are done standing up, so I had a toddler with poop exposed hanging out in my month-old van. I reached those wipes in the front seat FAST. Clean up, move out. Then I'm spreading out a towel and Kaden says, "Toby has poop on his leg."  

Of course he does.

What had I missed? Nothing. This was clearly a new batch. Everywhere. At pools we use swim diapers but they give Toby diaper rash so at the beach we chance it and I just pack an extra suit. Never had a problem until... Strip off grossness while Kaden is filling a bucket with water for clean up efforts then I can't find Toby's extra swim suit. And it's back to the van for everyone...

Ok. Second try. Things are good. Kaden and Blue are enjoying the fact that our gulf stream waters make it warmer to be in the water rather than out. Toby and I eat our lunch and then play in the sand.  Ater about a half hour, Blue decides he's done and comes to help the digging project. After fifteen minutes of watching Blue's teeth chatter, I tell him to either get back in the water or let me bury him.  He chooses the sand blanket and seriously stayed there until we left. Toby proceeds to decide he's had enough. But Blue and Kaden are happy so I (stupid, stupid me) decide to stretch him. 

And the last thirty minutes of our beach time were horrific. Toby is in and out but Kaden wants to be buried too, so I manage that and then let him sit there under his sand blanket for all of five minutes before announcing it was time to rinse off and pack it up.  By this point Toby was at uncontrollable screaming, kicking and hitting mode.

Makes the rinsing and packing up part SO not fun.

We survived. Toby fell asleep on the way home, but in spite of a 30 minute car nap and bubble bath tub time in my big tub when we got home, he proceeded to throw fits on and off all afternoon.  

I managed some laundry and reading with Kaden, a whole separate kind of frustration since, upon finishing the chapter he could not answer a single question about it correctly, so then we had to go back through the chapter reading various sections again. Deep. Sigh.

That was the afternoon. Dinner never came together. I'd gotten as far as placing brown rice, green beans and cabbage on the counter, because these were things I knew I wanted to include in dinner (the green beans and cabbage needed to get eaten, the brown rice seemed a good base).  

Back to The Husband and how he saved my Monday.

He enters the scene at 5pm and I'm like - uh, I'm out of here, going jogging. By the way there's no dinner plans, just some ingredients on the counter. See ya later. 

And while I am gone for about 45 minutes he:

A. Ordered pizza

B. Did nothing, figuring I'd come up with something when I got back

C. Turned cabbage, green beans, and brown rice into a yummy Asian stir fry that two out of three kids were super excited about. (There was no pleasing Toby at that point - the kid ate raisins and strawberries for dinner).

Ok, you already saw his facebook status you know.

The answer is C, and obviously, if the answer is C, our marriage is not in trouble, so back off, he's MINE.

THEN (there's more), after dinner, I reminded him that it was Monday night, the night I like to hole myself in the office by 7pm and pretend I'm writing a novel.

So he did the dishes and put the kids to bed.


 
Love. Him.

Monkey Boy Blue

Friday, right after I picked up Blue from school, we grabbed some Peanut Butter Banana Crunch Flatbreads at Tropcial Smoothie and headed to the PSL Botanical Gardens for a picnic and stroll.

Blue added tree climbing to that list.

Orzo Salad and Broccoli Rabe

We've given up "factory farmed meat" in our household which means that 9 nights out of 10 we're eating vegetarian fare.

Last night we had an orzo salad with broccoli rabe. It was an especially good dinner and the kids even asked for seconds. (Kaden even wanted more broccoli rabe!)

The Orzo salad was inspired by something I ate at Fresh Market recently but, for the most part, I made up the recipe.

1 1/2 cup orzo cooked according to package directions
1 pint grape tomatoes cut in thirds
1 can garbanzo beans drained and rinsed
1 3.5 oz jar capers, drained
a few swirls of olive oil 
sea salt - about a teaspoon
1 1/2 lemons sqeezed
1 pressed garlic clove

Cook orzo, squeeze lemons, mix it all up, stick in the fridge till you're ready to eat it.

As for the broccoli rabe. Kevin made this because a lot of evenings these days, right when he gets home, I go out to jog.  So, if he made any variations, I don't know... but here's the original recipe:

• 1 pound broccoli rabe, trimmed
• 5 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
• 1 clove garlic, minced
• 1 tablespoon grated Parmesan cheese

1. Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil. Cut an X in the bottom of the stems of the broccoli rabe and place in the boiling water. Cook until tender but still firm, about 5 minutes. Drain.
2. In a large heavy skillet over medium heat, heat olive oil and saute garlic for 1 to 2 minutes. Stir in the broccoli rabe and saute 10 to 15 minutes, or until desired doneness. Dust with parmesan cheese, if desired. (Kevin forgot to do this.)

Not sure how often we'll be getting broccoli rabe in our produce box, but if possible, this will be a repeat meal in our household for sure.

Food Pun Valentines

Food puns became the theme of the boys' Valentines for some reason this year.

Blue's read, "Life Would Be Unbearable Without You," and it's attached to a bag of Teddy Grahams.

Kaden's read, "Love You to Bits!" and it's attached to bag of Ritz Bits.

And then Blue's teachers, Kaden's speech teacher, and Kaden's principal are getting $5 Starbucks Gift Cards with a note that says, "Hope your Valentine's is a LATTE fun!" (Here's the front and back)

Our one exception to the food puns is that Kaden's teacher is getting flowers in this vase I made (colored pencils glued to a tea can).

Valentine's Play Date for 4/5 Year Olds

Whew. 

I'm tired. :-) I was up late prepping for today's play date.  

10pm ish. Starting the mini cupcakes. One down, 3,271 to go. (Give or take.)

11pm ish start cutting brownies. Decide they need to cool longer. Go write a blog post... 12:30pm finish cutting brownies.

But now play date has been survived enjoyed AND the house is clean again. (The dishwasher hums as I type.) 

We invited the whole class and out of 14 kids we had 10, plus moms, plus Toby, plus three other siblings. 

It was a party!

I made lunch and planned for two craft moments.  Rain threatened but held off long enough that the kids played and ate oustide for the first hour or so.

The menu: strawberries, cherry tomatoes and red pepper slices (wanted to be heavy on the red foods), cucumber sandwiches, heart shaped pb&js, heart shaped brownies, mini strawberry cupcakes with cream cheese frosting, and red and white candy. I wish I'd taken a picture of the entire spread but... I didn't. 

See? The middle plate is candy in mini cupcake holders:

(red and white jellybeans and gummi bears)

Happy eaters:

Then they played in the back yard:

And then we made bird feeder hearts. I had cut out hearts from cardboard and the kids coated the hearts with peanut butter and then dipped them in bird seed. Then we looped a ribbon through and hung them in our tree.

See. How cute is my tree now?

Then it rained and everyone came inside.

No worries.  The next plan was to make Valentine's for their teachers. I set out paper and markers and stickers and and and... on the dining room table and had white paper covering the coffee table so kids could set up there too.  

But so much for the coffee table set up. Everyone crowded together.

It was tight cozy.

Toby colored awhile in his high chair and then I set him on my bed with his milk and turned on a show. He was tired and starting to max out and I just wanted to give him chill time. It totally worked. After that alone/down time he's been great all afternoon.

Blue was happy to have his friends over. (One girl very excitedly said, "Blue lives in a BLUE house!")

Today was the kids party. Tomorrow night we're having my (very belated) Balderdash Birthday night. (It's a tradition to have people over to play Beyond Balderdash and eat ice cream cake for my bday. AFTER the kids are in bed of course.)

Just a buncha partiers around here. 

Transitioning

Last week I had a meeting for Toby to discuss the transition from the Early Steps program to the school board once he turns three.

The process is this: About a month before his birthday (in late May) I should get a letter requesting I schedule his assessment with the school board. After their assessment they will call me back in without Toby to go over findings and suggested services. In St. Lucie County those services could be:

A. Highest Need / Medically Sensitive. These are for kids who's special needs require a nurse. Not Toby.

B. High Need - half day program at Windmill Point Elementary (This is where Kaden goes/Blue will be in Kindergarten next year.)

C. Modest Need - 1 hour appointments as needed at Bayshore Elemetary.

D. He scores too well and does not qualify at all.

In spite of the fact that Windmill Point is closest to our house and that's where my other two will be next year, I'm rooting for option C. I don't want Toby gone a whole half day. He's still my "baby." Also, I have a feeling that compared to the other kids in that program Toby might be higher functioning and I want him around kids that will push him. I'd like another year where we go to appointments and I busy up his schedule with other things - playdates, My Gym, Minsky Gym... (I haven't been to their pop in play time since Blue was three?!)

On Tuesday Toby's speech therapist did his expressive language testing. This time he scored a little lower, about 7 months below age appropriate, but according to her a score too high to continue qualifying for services! The good news is, he has to be retested no matter what, she doesn't have to hand over her findings, and in a new environment with new people I don't expect Toby to score as well for the school board folks... Or maybe to ensure that he doesn't I'll go in and poke him throughout the night the night before his test so he'll be tired, cranky, and uncooperative. :-)

In our conversation on Tuesday, his ST used the phrase, "Non functional language," and that really pin points his verbal usage. He talks plenty. He's got lots of words. Well, nouns. And not just the basics. Like with animals it's not just cow, dog, cat, bird. Today I brought out some animal flashcards and he distinguished between a ladybug, dragonfly, and bee. I remember for awhile when Blue was two every color was yellow, every animal was a horse, and every fruit was an apple. It was a funny stage. Toby has never gone through this stage. He gets thats there are specifics.  But he's not so big on the verbs, pronouns, modifiers... And it's mostly just jibber jabber. Labeling, labeling, labeling. Not communicating wants or ideas. For example, today at one point when I strapped him in his carseat he pointed back at the house and said, "House! Yeah!" I'm glad he's excited about our house but... what am I supposed to do with that? "Yup, that's our house," and keep strapping.

So that's where he is with expressive speech and that's where we are with his future services. If he doesn't qualify or if he really bombs and they assign him to the half day? We'll address it when it needs to be addressed...

In other transitions...

He's pretty much dropped the nap. I only even attempt to put Toby down for a nap once or twice a week now. One day he was yawning all morning so I put him down and nothing - fussed and played until I came back for him an hour later. The main problem with this is that if you put him in the van after 4pm on a no-nap day, he will fall asleep in an instant and this really messes up our evenings. When all three boys were side by side in Papa's Saturn Vue, no problems with car naps, but now that he's in a van again, it's already happend like four times in less than two weeks!  

I'm trusting him more with a fork.

It's messy, but we'll get it. Eventually. He definitly brings enthusiasm to the task.

No interest in his potty seat. I ask him if he wants to go on the potty and he very adamently says no.  The one time I put him on the potty against his will he started clapping and saying "Yay, pee pee." Even though he hadn't peed. I thought this was interesting because he obviously understood exactly what he was supposed to do and was trying to fake me out to get me to let him off! For the other two boys we used a small potty chair. Maybe we should go that route. Or I should get books etc just to make the topic a more comfortable norm?  We have a Bear in the Big Blue House episode about potty training, maybe it's time to dig up that DVD. At least I have figured out that Step 1 for Toby is not get him to go on the potty, but rather be willing to sit on it at all.

And here's some miscellaneous Toby cuteness. On Wednesday I wanted to mow the front lawn. (Yes, here in Florida we have to mow even in February.) Mowing used to be a nap time task, but... no more naps. So I set him up on the front porch with a whole mix of things. Mostly toy cooking gear, but also cotton balls and a pair of plastic tongs. (I'd seen somewhere that tongs and cotton balls could keep a preschooler busy for forever.  Maybe it would have, had Blue not broken the tongs after five minutes.) Anway... Toby was cute, playing with his stuff:

Silly Socks

Blue really, really hates it when all his "fun" socks are dirty and he's left with nothing but the dumb 'ol boring white socks.

This pair he wore yesterday were a beloved stocking stuffer.

It's a silly boy when the way to his heart is through his feet!

Receptive

Today after Toby's speech appointment his therapist talked to me about a receptive language test she did on Toby. He scored a 98 and apparently 90 to 115 is average.  He scored at 2 years 8 months. And go figure. Toby is 2 years 8 months. The caveat, and she will note this on his test, is that she had to keep his hands down. If allowed to point whenever and whereever and/or play with his hands then he wouldn't pay attention and wouldn't participate.  So, bottom line, when Toby isn't distracted, he's a pretty smart boy.

Yup. I knew that.

Disorganized mind.
I go back to this phrase all the time. The psychologist at the Miami Fragile X clinic used it to describeToby when he was 18 months and we visisted for an assesment. And his disorganized mind makes it difficult for him to sputter out the right combination of sounds at the right time so his therapist and I don't expect him to score as well tomorrow when she does the expressive language test.

Kevin and I refer to Toby as a juke box of sounds.  At any given time you never know what he'll be blabbering about. This morning at breakfast he was calling out colors. At any given moment he'll break into Old McDonald. He likes to say Yuck! in and out of context. Or point to something and label it.  He's great at labeling.  Speak to communicate needs, wants, ideas... not so much. Sometimes. Especially when he wants juice, a show, or help taking his socks off, but other than that, not so much.

But he can talk. And he is learning phrases. If I leave the room I will soon hear, "Mommy! Whereareyou?" (I really think he thinks "where are you" is one word.) To Gus, our dog, he is always saying, "Good boy! Good boy!" or "Heal!" These words he gets from me. And tonight I heard him say, "Good boy, Gussers." And that really surprised me. That he gets from my mom because she's the one who calls him Gussers so he doesn't hear it as much. Plus it was three words in a row said in context while he was patting the dog.

He's doing well.

He still has a disorganized mind. He still has no filter when he's excited/startled/quickly stimulated by something. In these scenarios, his response is to 1. throw whatever is in his hand or 2. if his hand is empty to hit whatever is closest. It's a problem. It's like he just needs something to take the edge off, bring him down one notch and then he'll be released from the Fragile X static.

Toby isn't taking anything. Not even circumin right now. We ran out and I wanted to see if I noticed any difference with him off it. It's been at least three weeks and I haven't noticed any difference, so... not rushing out to restock.

But I will be pursuing meds knowledge at this year's Fragile X conference. We've booked the hotel and paid our registration. Kevin and I will be there the whole time. Mom is coming down with the kids for the Friday luncheon and then Kevin is taking Kaden to the Marlins game/Fragile X night at the ballpark. The Mom/kids crew is just staying the one night.

SO excited. 

Because I'm receptive to the next step for Toby. 

****

And now for a photo series from tonight of Toby and "Gussers." Allowing Toby to crawl around in the garage has NEVER happened before but tonight I was buying time for an over-tired Toby while Kaden was in the shower. Toby followed me into the garage when I let Gus in to feed him, so I just let Toby stay and hang out with his beloved Gussers until the tub was free.

Toby showing Gus his feet. 

Seriously. He was scooting toward Gus saying, "Feet. Feet." Gus wasn't impressed.

After I told Toby to, "Give Gus a hug."

Then Gus turned around and gave Toby a kiss, so Toby followed up with a kiss as well.

Then Toby found a packing peanut and decided Gus should eat it.

He was persistent.

I'm not really sure what's going on in this next one. It looks like they're comparing paws.

"Good boy. Good boy, Gussers."

Giddy up!

I kept telling Toby to say good bye to Gus but he wouldn't come. Finally I turned the light off in the garage and he took me seriously.

I love that we were on the verge of TOTAL MELTDOWN and a few minutes with the dog restored the evening and held him through bath/bedtime routine.

Oh and during said bedtime routine I told Blue to brush his teeth and then wait for me in his room with books. And get this - he did. No toothpaste on the walls. No water catastrophes. The kid had brushed his teeth and was standing in front of his bookshelf, books in hand, when I got to him. 

Not always. Ok, not even usually, these boys go easy on me. I so appreciate when that happens.