That would be Toby.
Toby had a bad day.
When Toby has a bad day, this Mama gets spent.
It started at speech. We were a little early and Toby needed a diaper change and for some reason during said clean up he freaked out. I ended up having to put the clean diaper on him while he was standing up and I was hugging him. (Still not sure how I managed that.) When we left the bathroom he started bouncing off the walls in an anxious way, falling to the ground with an arched back if I tried to wrangle him up to settle down. Not fun. I managed to calm him just as his speech therapist came out to get him, but she reported that he went back to being difficult during their time.
Every single time he had to get in his car seat he fought me.
After picking up Blue I decided on a quick Walmart stop for bananas and batteries. Of course a few more things ended up in the cart. Toby proceeded to reach behind him and slam things to the ground. If everything was out of reach, he screamed. SO not fun. The only way we survived check out was because I found a notepad in my purse and handed it to him with a pen. Whew.
Then nap time.
He decided to pull a Benjamin. Benjamin is a cousin who is about three months younger than Toby and has been very into stripping lately. He laid down fine when I put him down, but about 15 minutes later big screams. I go in and he's naked from the waste down. His diaper was full (of pee) and he hadn't peed on the bed anywhere, so I though ok, he just wants a lighter load. I changed him and put him back in bed. 15 minutes later more screams. Again, naked from the waste down but this time he's peed all over the bed. I give the bed a stern lecture. (Pointing at the pee, "No pee pee on the bed. No, no!) Toby then proceeded to point at his bed and say, "No, no pee pee. No!" I declared nap time over.
Our afternoon, in spite of the missing nap, went well enough. Dinner was fine. But then we had to get to the hair spray paint. I knew he would hate it. He hated it. We quit before it was quite good enough, but it had to be good enough. He was wound up.
Pictures were next.
This proved almost impossible.
I think I took at least 30 pictures.
Here's the best one:
But there were some like this:
Or like this:
(As in, we couldn't even get Toby to stay in the shot.)
Ok, this one's decent too, I guess:
And then we started trick or treating.
And it went like this: Toby wanted to be with his brothers so he'd follow them up to the door and then the person would talk to him and his chin would plummet to his neck and he'd freeze. I took over accepting the candy, agreed that he was shy, and turned him around to head back to the wagon.
This part was great.
Except he kept trying to get into his treats.
This went on for about ten houses. At one house Toby even called out a jubilent "Bye!" as he turned away. Then we got to the three scary houses. (Three houses in a row that were very decorated with lots of gory things.) At the first one, a monster was holding the candy bowl. I wanted Toby to stay in the wagon but he insisted on following Kaden and Blue. When he got close, he was wary of the monster. He reached out to touch the candy but jumped back before taking a piece. I took a piece for him and turned him around. At the next scary house he got fixated on their tiki torches and didn't seem to notice any of the gore.
He did this house with Kaden. No help from me.
So he gets through a few more houses and then... DONE. He gets to the door, I help him put the candy in his bucket and then arched back, freak out. I'd calm him down. He'd see his brothers go to the next house, he'd follow. Same thing. The third time this happened, I'd decided I was just being stupid. Then I got bit and knew I was being really stupid. Toby got sent back to our house with my mom and I kept going with the Cat in the Hat and Thing 1.
At some houses they asked, "What happened to Thing 2?" And I said, "Thing 2 is two. He had a meltdown, so he's back at home." And this is acceptable. Fragile X aside, many two year olds don't always manage these crazy changes and holiday expectations.
When we finally got home, a brown-haired Toby was sitting in very blue bath water. (Thank you, Mom.) But when I went to check the candy loot with the big boys (To inspect for safety, not to steal, I swear!) and my mom went to dress him, holy melt down.
Lots of throwing things.
My mom finally got him dressed and he emereged from his room only to resume the angry throwing. There was no bringing him down. The boy needed to go to bed.
After another good fifteen minutes of this raging around his room, snot and tears pouring, I finally gave up on the bed time routine, put his book away, turned off the light, and grabbed him. He melted and we were able to rock and sing a few songs and when I put him in his bed he snuggled right down.
I didn't hear a peep from him after that.
During our rocking time I whispered to him that it was ok. He'd accomplished a lot and when he was older he could better tell us what he wanted to do for Halloween. Maybe he'd stay back and pass out candy. Maybe just watch holiday movies on the couch and ignore the hooplah all together. Whatever he wanted to do, we'd figure out a way for it to be fun for him.
I think he had some fun tonight.
I mean, look at that grin.
But the sum total was too, too much.
Oh, Toby. The holiday season is just beginning. We have much to figure out.