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The boys have only one living great grandparent, Kevin's Grandma. Kevin's mom is Gran and my mom is Oma, so they just call her Grandma and have no concept of the "great" part of it.
Grandma lives in Tennessee but the boys got to be with her over Christmas. Here they are Christmas morning.
And now I must go back to my laundry and toy reorganizing demands that inevitalby consume the first day back from a Christmas trip.
If you haven't already gotten our photo card/Christmas newsletter. Um, it's probably not coming. Sorry. But! Now! Here! Tonight! You can get the pictures and Christmas letter part of that mail-out sans the tree-killing and carbon omitting postal services. Super awesome!!
(I like using extra exclamation points in and around Christmas letters because of the David Sedaris short story, Season's Greetings. If Santa has never brought you a copy of Barrel Fever, you need to have a talk with him... OR! get over it, and listen to this story on youtube: part one, part two.)
Alright, alright... the official letter:
Merry Christmas! We hope you have had a happy and fulfilling 2011.
No worries, no one fell off the dock.
When I write these annual Christmas letters I’m conscious of how to convey the fun! celebrations!! of our year!!!! without glossing over… ya know, reality. So, reality: For the first half of 2011 my world smelled like pee. (Merry Christmas!!!) Somehow a button got pushed in Blue, our middle kiddo, and he just went out of control. He began breaking things, sweeping his arms across a shelf to crash its contents to the ground, and peeing on things on purpose. Every day. Multiple times a day. I was going Out. Of. My. Mind. Blue and I started meeting with a psychiatrist, and after many failed efforts (good job dollars, star charts, putting fun things in the toilet to pee on) either our consistency, your prayers, or Blue’s boredom with the whole thing brought us out of it. By the middle of summer things started turning around. PRAISE GOD. (Because you surely didn’t want to read an entire letter about bad behavior; you can watch Super Nanny for that.)
He sure looks cute and normal, doesn't he?
In other, more fun, news: The boys started t-ball/baseball for the first time. Kevin coached Blue’s team and we hosted Blue’s end-of-season party. In March Kaden turned 7 and we celebrated by taking a few friends to see a Disney on Ice show. In May Toby turned 2 and right around his birthday he and I traveled to Chapel Hill for a research study on the brains of kids with Fragile X. Toby continues doing numerous therapies and we’ve added a membership to “My Gym” a kids gym with directed classes for little tykes.
Love those laughs!
In the summer Kaden and Blue went to a VBS and a number of camps, but the best camp, from my perspective, was “Camp Gran and Papa” where they went for a week (with Toby too) so Kevin and I could enjoy a tenth anniversary trip WITHOUT KIDS! We spent one night in New Orleans and then continued on to Montana where we met up with our friends Ryan and Courtney Tucker. We rented a cabin in Red Lodge so we could spend our days hiking around the Bear Tooth Mountains and Yellowstone. We had perfect weather for our hikes, lots of animal sightings but no animal encounters, and a hot tub at our cabin where we watched shooting stars each night. Perfect.
In the fall Kaden started second grade… twice. He returned to the school where he’s been enrolled since we moved to Port St Lucie, but two weeks into the semester we got a letter saying he could move to a school where we’d had him on a waiting list. He’s much closer to home which makes the drop off / pick up routine nicer. Also, he has more church friends at his new school, so we’re pleased with the change.
How can he already be in 2nd grade?!
Blue attends the same school where he went 2 afternoons a week last year, but now he goes every morning as part of the free Voluntary Pre Kindergarten program in the state of Florida. We love his Christian school and we love that the state pays for it!
In October we celebrated the wedding of my oldest niece. Blue and Kaden served as ring bearers. It was a destination wedding to Panama City Beach for the Tennessee bride and groom so all the family made a vacation out of it. We were able to rent a small beach house that the boys are still talking about. (When are we going back to that little gray house with the pool and the Wii?) Unfortunately, while en route to PCB the transmission of our van died. Because it had close to 200k miles we chose to sell it without fixing it. Right now we’re adding to our savings for a down payment on a new van and in the meantime borrowing Kevin’s father’s old car. I begrudgingly became a minivan mom, but now, not two months away from van driving, I sorely miss it!
Kaden just wrapped up spring baseball (two seasons and one camp in, and we’ve seen big improvements!) and is now beginning practice for his first time playing Upward Basketball. On December 1st Blue turned 5. He had a Kung Fu Panda party at a Martial Arts Studio. Blue recently began taking karate at his preschool one day a week. He loves it! (Gotta direct that energy somehow.)
We’ve been through a lot this year watching one of our sons get so off track. It was particularly hard on me because I saw a lot of personal goals go unmet as I poured all of my energy into managing Blue. In September, part of a women’s conference I attended in Orlando, I was able to go to Casting Crowns concert. The lead singer shared about trials he’s been through getting his daughter, adopted from China, healthy. They then went into their song, Praise You In the Storm. I felt like such a whiner! With both Kaden and Blue we knew that even though the adoptions were finalized, their places in our family sealed, that adoption would always be an on-going journey. Blue’s journey hit a bumpy patch (Behaviorally, Blue is underdeveloped and resorts to “primitive behaviors.” Thank you, psychiatrist.) and where was my praise? (1 Thess 5:18 Give thanks in ALL circumstances.) It’s easier now that we’ve gone on two restorative trips and Blue has improved, but I hope to be better equipped no matter what our family faces in 2012.
And if, between all that news and the family blog, you still haven’t gotten enough Stratton news, we have a guest bedroom! Come visit! Merry Christmas! Happy 2012!! Love!!! Faydra!!!! (and the boys!)
Yesterday sometime before dinner Toby climbed up into my bed, pulled the covers up like so, and said, "Mickey."
There was no denying that cutie, snuggled bug, an episode of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.
When the hostessing duties are over and the presents are bought and wrapped, why not plan a zoo day over Christmas break?
So we did.
It was busy because Toby had his My Gym class this morning, and I promised my mom I'd have Gus groomed before he hangs at her house a few days so I had to drop him off, and then it was time to get lunch so we hit Chick Fil-A on the way down... But finally, around noon we got to the zoo.
Kookaburra
Roar like a Tiger! (Did only Blue hear me?)
Pose with the tiger statue since the live ones are sleeping in a spot we could barely see.
Wild Things Show...
Touching Banjo the baby alligator after the Wild Things show.
Anteaters are so cool.
Ended our trip at the carousel.
Then off to pick up Gus, stop at the drycleaners for pants I need Christmas Eve, drop off my mom and the dog, and now last minute details... It's a good thing Big Apple Pizza is having a fundraiser for Kaden's school tonight - no need to feel guilty about just calling it a pizza night!
Technically called "life group." We get together every Wednesday evening for dessert and discussion. Usually my mom comes to watch the kids, but this week we sent them to her house for a sleepover and hosted our friends for a potluck dinner. (And so ends my hostessing duties this holiday season.)
We dined. We had a rousing White Elephant swap. We desserted. All without kids!
But now I've got to go fetch my kids. I ignored them yesterday to cook and clean, so today I promised them a trip to the zoo.
We will be with Kevin's family over Christmas, so Saturday night we had our Christmas with my mom. It was a relaxing afternoon where the boys worked on a gingerbread house and then played in the backyard (it was party, a neighbor clan of four kids plus one puppy came over to play as well). Around five we dug into our traditional lobster Christmas dinner and then opened presents. Without further ado, here is a photo dump of these happenings:
That would be Toby's hand taking candy off the house and Kevin's hand trying to remove Toby's. After too much of this, Toby got kicked off the ginger bread house making team and sent inside.
Which... he didn't like so much.
But he got invited back for the final photo.
The boys are playing with a brass horn my mom got in a package from my uncle. Because of course a brass horn is way cooler then all the actual TOYS they got.
Fa la la la laaaaa....
Weeeeeee
November 23rd marked two and a half for Toby. So yup, we are smack in the very middle of two-ness.
Schedule:
We're busy during the week. Every morning we drop off Kaden and then Blue and then on Mondays and Tuesday it's off to Speech and OT. Wednesdays is usually grocery shopping. Thursdays is Toby's My Gym class, and Fridays is play therapy at the house. Then we get Blue, have lunch, go for a walk, read books, and probably skip nap time, because most days Toby won't nap anymore. Instead of a nap, he'll probably watch Sesame Street or, these days, some Christmas something. Then it's probably time to pick up Kaden and maybe play outside a little before I have to cook dinner while the boys hopefully play in the play area or if that isn't working out so well, I put on another show. Dinner by 6pm. Then bath, more books, and especially since nap time is pretty much over, in bed shortly after 7pm. If Toby has napped then he'll play more and stay up till at least 8pm.
Aggression:
I hate that this is the very next category in two-land, but it's what I'm most conscious of right now with Toby.
In the middle of two we have hit an aggressive patch. I think it's anxiety and/or over stimulation related but it can show up any time. As in, one morning, I walked in to get Toby out of his crib and he was slapping his leg, his face already set to angry and stubborn mode. Goooood morning!
I am guaranteed at least one good slap when we go to My Gym - usually around the 30 minute mark which is when he starts to max out. If I try to get him to participate in an activity he doesn't want to try - another good smack or maybe bite.
The other morning I had a doc apt and my mom came to the house and I left to bring Blue to school without Toby (and then off to my apt.). Break in the norm. Lots of slapping before I got out the door.
Watching T.V. and something scary comes on or if someone on the show is angry Toby starts smacking the person next to him.
Not his funnest coping mechanism.
When it first started there seemed to be a little defiance mixed in. Once he came up and smacked my leg and yelled, "Time out!" So I quickly learned not to turn it in to a power struggle. In general the plan is to redirect and/or model behavior I'd rather see. If he goes to hit, I may say, "Not nice. Toby we give kisses, hugs and gentle touch." As I'm saying this he's getting a kiss, big compressing squeeze and a soft touch on the face. He will often then proceed to stroke your face and say gentle.
"No" and "time out" are often trigger/escalating words, but say the word "gentle" when he rears back for a slap and there's a good chance he'll stop.
We've also started brushing more. If he's wound up I'll ask him if wants to be brushed and he often goes to his room for the brush. The other day I started on his arm and he said, "back," so I switched to brushing his back and you could just feel him easing up. He knew what he needed.
I'm getting better about predicting his triggers. During Blue's drop off, for example, Toby always gets wound up. I think because he wants to stay and be a big kid. I'm trying to say goodbye to Blue, maybe chat with his teacher, and sign the sign-in but Toby's fighting me the whole time - trying to run off or maybe throwing himself to the floor. Fun! These days my tactic is that I hold Toby (don't bother with the sometimes-stressor of socks and shoes) and just as I take him out of the car I hand him a sippy cup with juice. Now he's too busy chugging to try to squirm free and I can get through drop off much more easily.
So we've had some issues but I've learned to adjust my strategies and it's... manageable.
Holidays:
Seeing this terrible side of two worried me with the holiday decorations coming out, but so far so good. For one, we have a bunch of stuff the kids are allowed to play with. These push-a-button-and-they-sing things for example. Also the Little People nativity.
This helps with redirection, but I was still worried about the tree, some Santas that are in reach, and some nativities also in reach, but these things seem to have taken on a magic Christmas force field. He has shown ZERO interest. Merry Christmas to me!
Still working on getting him to say "Merry Christmas" with little luck, BUT...
His love for singing continues and his favorite Christmas carol seems to be Angels We Have Heard on High (tied with Jingle Bells). Usually it's a lot of mumbling but tonight he totally landed on "in excelsis Deo." Kevin just shook his head at me as if to say, Only YOUR son. (I sing a lot.)
Likes:
*He loves to draw. Drawing very often gets us through grocery shopping. A notepad lives in my purse at all times. I wish he would be as excited about the magnadoodle (less messy, less paper waste) but he's not. Also, all commands to "keep it on the paper" are ignored. After a shopping trip Toby's clothes and legs are usually decorated, and at home...
This doesn't bother me as much as the crayon eating. At some point he always gets bored with the drawing and switches to crayon munching. This always seems to happen when I've stopped paying attention for a moment. I get it the first time, but wax is gross. Why does he go back to it? Hey Toby, I'll save you some trouble - ALL the colors taste the SAME.
*Bill Bob. His official name is Bill Bob the Destroyer. He's a random happy meal type toy that's been with us for like, five years maybe and I had no idea who he was so I named him Bill Bob the Destroyer (he's fierce and bad guy looking). Toby loves him so much that today when I told him to go to the car he stood by the door and said, "Be-Bob. Car. Be-Bob!" (Bill Bob lives in the car with the bag of car toys.) Made me laugh.
*He LOVES to swing and when we swing, we count. So Toby can pretty much count to 20 in English and to 10 in Spanish. For serious. The way he says quatro is so friggin' adorable.
Talking:
Toby recently did not qualify for a Fragile X study because he has too many words. They are looking for kids with twenty or less and I figure Toby's got at least 200 that he uses without prompting. The study is in California and requires about 6 trips in as many months so I wasn't sure we were going to do it anyway, but he didn't qualify! That's a good thing!
Two-word phrases... not so often. Sentences... Well, Toby thinks he is talking in sentences. He goes on and on with garbled who-knows-what. I'm pretty sure he thinks that he's speaking as clearly as when he says one word and doesn't realize his brain and tongue aren't in sync. The funny thing is, I think he's on the right track. The fact that he is attempting language as his primary communication is terrific. So many FX kids are non verbal and Toby remains within a few months range of "typical" in this area.
Eating:
Toby is a stuffer and sometimes we sit there and remind him after every bite, "Wait. Empty mouth first." One bite." (etc. etc.) it's just so much easier to feed him his meals by setting only about two bites at a time in front of him.
And he could probably totally do the utensil thing, and at times has... but in addition to the stuffing a full plate of food before him poses another risk. A play risk. It's like his brain gets overwhelmed by the abundance of it and he begins to see all the possibilities. Not good.
The other day I talked him through a whole bowl of pasta. He even ate most of it with a spoon, but then I went into the kitchen and left the bowl with just a little bit of sauce at the bottom still in front of him. And then...
In the time it took me to set something on the kitchen counter, he managed to miraculously multiply the sauce and get it everywhere. That's a wipe in his hand. This pic is after the clean up process had already begun.
Potty Training:
Ha ha ha. No. Let me get through the holidays before I even consider that please.
Sleep:
As I said, nap time has all but been left behind. He maybe naps once or twice a week now. At night he sleeps through 75-80% of the time. The rest of the time... It's anybody's guess. On December 6th (I know this because I was up late working to get an order in with Shutterfly before a sale ended on Dec 7th) Toby woke up at 2am (which really sucked for me who went to bed at 1am) and didn't go back to sleep until after 5am. And only then because Daddy dumped him in bed with me before leaving to meet a friend for breakfast. I have no idea where nights like that come from.
In other two news:
When he's occupied by a sippy cup or an episode of Harold and the Purple Crayon, he's the BEST snuggler. Otherwise, he's the wiggliest squiggliest thing there is and watch out, he's got some bony elbows and you're likely to catch one the eye or something with all his ups and downs off the couch, over your body to get something, on you to sit for half a second, etc.
He is becoming a better climber. The problem with this is that Toby will climb on our playset and then refuse to go down the slide so I have to be the one to take him down every time. The other day I was walking over to get him and he bumped his head.
Here's Toby's sad face:
According to Kevin Toby and I have the exact same frown.
Oh and if Toby bumps his head, I am at fault and get smacked for this. Never mind that I crossed the yard to rescue him off the playset.
But we can't end on that face. Here's Toby riding a rocking horse at my mom's:
We've hit our bumps, but mostly Toby is happily learning, playing, and growing up way too fast through two.
What happened to my baby?!
Except in this case, the puppy is now nine years old.
Our Gus had another birthday this past Monday. He got a shout out on facebook but not here. (He's the most neglected of my boys.)
At least I bought him a new collar for a present.
Our Christmas tree is, for the most part, a travel memory tree. In fact a lot of our Christmas decorations are. We have Santas, nativities, and ornaments from all over the world.
Some of my favorites:
A Lladro I bought the semester I studied in Spain.
A Santa from Russia we bought while there adopting Kaden.
A bright and happy fish, reminding us of a bright and happy honeymoon in St. Lucia.
A first aniversary trip to the Biltmore Esate in Ashville, NC.
Venetian glass angel from Venice, Italy.
Scrap metal butterfly from Haiti.
German nativity is their traditional wooden style. (Lots of German ornaments on our tree but this is my favorite.)
God bless Texas. I may have moved there kicking and screaming but we are so thankful for the years we called Texas home.
Not travel related, but Kevin's baby ornament. Officially the oldest ornament on our tree!
(Anyone else want to post a tree tour and post the link in the comments? I'd love to "see" your tree!)
Here's our party crew with the Po (a.k.a. Kung Fu Panda) I drew for just such a photo op.
Blue's been into Kung Fu Panda since we moved into this house (May 2010) got a free HBO trial, and DVRed the first movie. He's seen the 2nd movie in the theater but he's never watched the Nick show. Blue asks to watch the first movie about once a week, but I pick and choose when I'm up for the boys to watch it, because afterwards there is always their attempt at much... uh, Kung Fu.
In November Blue started an after-school program at his preschool where, once a week, he has karate, so you could say he's been preparing for this party for awhile. :-)
My plan was to have it at a Martial Arts Studio and when Blue joined karate I went with the studio who sends their instructor to Blue's school. Because I didn't want to go with their usual pizza plan and wanted to supply all my own stuff, they charged me half what they usually do per kid!
Decorations:
By having it a dojang, the decor was what it was, but I did draw my Po. (Just white paper from a teacher supply store. I drew him out in pencil, did his shorts in crayon and the black with paint.)
And then I decorated the tables in their party room:
Those are crispy noodles from Panda Express in the bowl. The containers are just things I had at the house, but covered in black/red. The marker holder is a peanut container covered in black cardstock. The crispy noodle holder is a round Christmas container covered in tissue paper. It's all just stuff I had. Even the red ribbon sat in the mix of a big container of ribbon I keep in my craft area of my laundry room. The 5 is left over from when I was making the invitations. At each seat was a panda picture I bought from Oriental Trading Co for the kids to color.
And here you can see the balloons.
Because what's a party without balloons?
They had a black shelf along the wall that I used as the buffet. If I'd been really annual I would have draped something down so you couldn't see the contents of the shelf. I didn't bother.
Food:
2pm party so the goal was ample snacks, not a meal. We had veggie spring rolls, cream cheese rangoons, and chow mein noodles (The noodles were a must for a Kung Fu Panda party) from Panda Express. I also had black, red and white candy, cookie cake, cupcakes. Drinks were the small water bottles, small soda cans, and then a pitcher with punch (gingerale, cranberry juice, and a can of frozen lemonaid).
The birthday boy's plate:
Activities:
The studio surprised me by having face painting. Here's Blue's scary face and Kaden's not-as-scary snake face:
Then of course the main activities were the Martial Arts activities. First the kids learned high blocks:
And hopefully they were quick learners because Blue was then ready to whack them:
Next they had an obstacle course:
(Hey Blue, can you block while crawling? Toby's added an obtacle to your crawling obstacle!)
The course ended with having to do a kick that popped a balloon.
Towards the end the kids practiced how to break a board.
And moved on to breaking boards, which, if they did, they kept as souveniers.
The kids also had the panda coloring sheets if they wanted to go do this. Most did when we ate.
There was no opening present time because instead of presents for the birthday boy we had our friends bring presents for the animals of our local humane society. People did a great job with presents for our furry friends and also brought cards for Blue, which was great because we like to display birthday cards on the birthday boy's bedroom door for a few weeks around a kiddo's bday.
Oh and one other activity was cutting the birthday cake with a sword. This is why I made the cookie cake. My mind was made up on the panda cupcakes but it seemed silly to me to cut a cupcake with a sword. I mean, could you cut this guy with a sword?
So here's Blue cutting his cookie cake with a sword:
Party Favors:
The party favors were a small black box like a mini version of a Chinese take-out box. Inside were a few Kung Fu Panda stickers and a fortune cookie with a Bible verse (from Oriental Trading Co.)
"There is a saying: yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the 'present.'" --Oogway
Thank you for being part of our "present" and sharing Blue's special day with us.
Fun times! Happy 5th Birthday to Blue.
Who, of course, has already starting an abundance of sentences with, "When I'm 6..."
Never ends, does it?
