groundspeed

Mother's Day Tea... and a Hamster Named Dinosaur.

Blue's class hosted a Mother's Day Tea yesterday. Toby stayed at a friend's house so Blue could have me as his date all to himself.

The class recited some things and sang us song.

They loaded us up with goodies:

We moms did a mad lib style story with our kids, decorated cookies, and received cards in which the kids had answered questions about us.  Apparently, I am as pretty as... a goldfish. Warms your heart, doesn't it?

Blue was a perfect date, and I had a lovely time.

But this is a Blue story.

Obviously it doesn't end there.

After the party, school was done, so Blue came with me to get Toby. We were hanging our for a bit and Blue disappeared down the hallway to the boy's room and my friend and I didn't think anything of it, but then, it kinda occurred to us at the same time... the hamster! 

Blue had dismantled the hamster cage in a way that my friend didn't even know the cage could be dismantled and Dinosaur the pet hamster was running free. Thankfully, running free in this case meant that he was simply hanging out on the table where his cage had once sat. Blue got scolded and warned he was never to touch Dinosaur's cage or hold him without a grown up around. Soon enough, the cage was reassembled, the poop pellets vacuumed off the floor, and Dinosaur was safely returned. Since Blue had never explicitly been told to leave the hamster alone, that was the extent of his correction.

Then Mommies left the room, but not three minutes later there was much suspicious squealing.  Um yeah, Blue had re-released Dinosaur.  He was promptly sent to wait by the door until we left and he lost TV and baseball-attending privileges for that evening. He was told he could earn back the right to attend Kaden's baseball game, but alas, he did not.

And that's the end of a Blue story.

(Deep sigh.)

Week in Review

Hmmmm. Where have I been all week?

Blue got sick Sunday and missed school Monday which got us off to a weird start. 

We just didn't do much.

I did pull down the balloons I'd strung up for Daddy's birthday.

They're still all over the house, and that makes the kids happy, but no, that's not very exciting news.

The Alabama cousins are in Florida for their spring break but spring break came and went for us already so no plans to see them.  Until, that is, I found out they were going to Disney on Thursday. Then I scored some tickets and arranged for a day trip.

Getting the boys out the door by 7:15am? No problem. Entertaining them in the car with a movie and snacks? Easy. Getting them in their Gator gear, sunscreened up, and out the car? Cinch. Folding the stroller and getting 3 boys and a stroller onto the parking lot tram. Oy. Not fun. Forgetting I could have gotten Toby a special needs pass until we were already 2/3rd through the day? Oy. Not smart. 

We met up with our cousins. I got to see a college friend. A childhood friend who lives in Orlando and has season passes joined up after her kids were done with school. It was a full day seeing great people. But. Oy. Holy lots of work for this Momma. 

Toby hated more rides than he liked. We had one anxiety throw-up incident and then at the 10pm after a long, long day we were misdirected during our WALK to the van (no way I could do the tram again with the stroller that Toby was then sleeping in) so even though I knew where I was parked (Heroes lot, Simba 20! I STILL remember.), it was a long while getting there with an exhausted Blue cyring softly as he walked. :-(

But the boys slept most of the way back, were all tucked in their beds by 12:30am and just when I was about to congratulate myself on such a long day I got on facebook to see that the rest of the world was up either at the Hunger Games or watching the Gators basketball game. So we were all up together. 

And today on during school drop offs (oh yes, they were made to go to school today. They can rest up this afternoon.) we were happily chatting about favorite rides and events.

Me: Monsters Inc. Laugh Floor, Toby calling out his name every time they asked another audience member his/her name.

Kaden: Barnstorner! Two Times!

Blue: Buzz Lightyear Space Rangers ride (two times!), Orbiter

Toby: He was still in bed for this conversation. (Kevin is home sick today.) but he seemed happiest running around Huck Finn's Island.

Ah. The Magic of The Mouse.

Crazy Campers

Friday night we headed down to Jonathan Dickinson State Park for a one night camping trip.

Kevin and I had some big camping adventures pre-kids. 

We went tent camping once when it was just Kaden.

Kevin took Kaden and Blue a few times last year.

This was the first time we went with all five of us. 

It was... a good decent first try. We were all set to book a site in the Keys/Bahia Honda  for a longer family camping trip later this year, but now we're thinking we're gonna wait on that.

Set up in the evening was fine. Picnic dinner. Tossing around the baseball. Roasting marshmallows. The boys inviting a stranger for some marshmallows (they did, we shared, it was fine). Kaden read the littler boys a few stories.

Blue eating attacking a marshmallow.

Reading in the tent time.

I'm so talented.  I can hold a flashlight and take pictures.

Aside from some sand fleas and the fact that Kevin beat me at Scrabble, it was a nice evening.

And then came bedtime.

Toby just didn't sleep. First he wouldn't go to sleep. Luckily our tent is so big it actually has two rooms, so finally we zipped him into his own room and let him cry and fuss until he passed out. That was around 9:30pm. He slept soundly till about 2am and then that was it. He woke up and thought it was time to get up.  Blue slept through everything. The rest of us? Notsomuch.

Finally around 6am he crashed again for about an hour.

And then, big surprise, we had a cranky fussy Toby the next day.

We went on a short walk to a river overlook.

Some of the time Toby was into it and walking.

Most of the time he decided to stop. Because, you know, pine needles and sand are so fascinating.

So we took turns carrying him. This worked when Mom did the carrying, but if Daddy tried it was all squiggles and shouting for Mommy.

So that didn't work, but we still made it.



But then, for some reason (oh right, no sleep) Toby threw a big fit when it was time to walk back. Sadly for me, big fits these days involve scratching and hair pulling.  Finally, beyond frustrated, I threw him in Daddy's arms and ran ahead on the path. Without me to act up for, he chilled and came along. 

In addition to Toby's tired-two-year-old temper, there was another big hazard to this walk. Apparently there was a giant on the path ahead of us. He left some crazy tracks.

I did find it a little suspicious that the word "giant" was written in the middle of this print and that Kaden was walking ahead of us with a stick in his hand, but... you never know. If you go for a walk at Jonathan Dickinson and you come across a giant on the path, don't say I didn't warn you.

We survived.

We had a little playground time where Kaden and Blue played happily and Toby stomped around uber cranky at one point even breaking Daddy's sunglasses when Kevin went to fetch him because he'd stomped too far away. Oy.

Then Toby and I sent Kevin, Kaden and Blue off into the Loxahatchee river (we borrowed a canoe from one of Kevin's coworkers) and Toby and I continued on to a birthday party in West Palm.

Wait. What?

In that state I took Toby to a birthday party? Am I CRAZY?

Yes. There's that. 

It still seemed a better option then sticking the kid in a canoe.

Also, I figured he'd get a needed nap during the 40 minute drive and if worse came to worse I'd just let him sleep. 

He did nap, but I didn't let him keep sleeping. He wasn't happy about being woken up and right away getting a diaper change, but he was soothed by Teddy Grahams and a fruit bar and I got him composed before we entered the bounce house! kids! snow cones! and petting zoo! birthday hoopla.

Actually the petty zoo was what I'd known would be our saving grace. Toby loves "anmals."

There were baby chicks, bunnies, a piglet, a rooster, two ducks, a mini cow, a goat and two baby goats. I didn't take many pictures because I was too busy making sure Toby was being gentle.

Yup, a traveling petting zoo for a barnyard themed birthday party. LOVE it.

After leaving the party we returned to the park to fetch the rest of the fam. Poor Kevin... About twenty minutes before we got back it had started POURING. Kaden and Blue didn't mind because they love to play in the rain. Kevin was a bit grumpy, and of course it didn't let up for the packing up, canoe mounting, but by the time we were out of the car and gassing up? Clear skies.

Is there any better way to end a camping trip? 

Are you ready for some... baseball?!

I guess Super Bowl Weekend is also consistenly opening weekend for little league around here. When I started to think about how this was a big weekend for sports I had a bit of deja vu because I remembered this post. 

Yup, Kaden has started baseball again.  This go around he's a Rattler. Yesterday's fun was opening ceremonies which we missed because of basketball. Then a baseball scrimmage. Then team pictures.

We had to leave the house on a Saturday at 7:20am to drive to Fort Pierce for an 8am basketball game. That's 40 minutes earlier than we leave on school days! We were there an hour. Then home for a uniform change. Then off to the chaos that is PSL Spring Baseball Opening Day where we watched Kaden get a good hit and his subsequent team members make good hits so he got a run.  It was just a scrimage so only one inning. 

Then we hung out and hung out and hung out until team pictures. Then finally, at 12:45 we were back in the car to come home.

Just me and the three boys. Kevin was in Haiti. 

Whew.

Entertaining Blue and Toby while Kaden does his sports thang - not my idea of fun.

We bought a lot of snacks.

Toby went through my purse many times.

Toby stole my sunglasses many times.

As did Blue.

We entertained Pee Wee.

And the boys did a lot of wrestling.

There were two meltdowns. (Toby)

Three diaper changes. (Toby)

Two timeouts. (Blue.)

One mega parking lot wipeout. (Blue. He's five. You'd think he could walk.)

There was one very good period where a little kid with a big inflatable bat decided to beat up on Blue. He and Blue played for awhile and Toby chased around behind them

There were moments when I had to be Toby's active jungle gym (swinging, tossing, etc.) and juke box to keep him happy.

A few times we even looked up to see what Kaden was doing.

This is like my worst case scenario for Saturday options, but we survived.

And now today, while the hubs is still in Haiti, there is pretty much zero chance I will devote any more of this weekend to sports. No Superbowl for me!

Not His Best Week

My mom gave the kids a good report when we returned home last Sunday evening.

But Kevin and I could quickly tell they had taken advantage of their days with Oma.

Clothes all over their room. Red sharpie marks in the guest bath. Art supply scraps... everywhere.

But it wasn't until Monday morning when we loaded into the car for school drop offs and I saw how trashed the backseat of my car was that I'd had enough.  I announced that clearly I had failed to teach them how to take care of things. I was sorry for my failing. This week I would make up for it and we would be practicing chores... indefinitely. Kaden now has the added task of making his bed in the morning. Blue has helped me with baseboard cleaning and utensil putting away when I've emptied the dishwasher. Lots of emptying of trash cans. Wiping down of the table and place mats and cleaning the play area. Yippee!

Oh and the other awesome thing about my announcement was that we would use this chore-practice time during regularly scheduled TV time. Once I was convinced that they understood how to put things away again and pick up after themselves in our house and car, then TV could come back.

Kaden got TV back on Wednesday. Blue... not yet. 

And not for lack of cleaning.  But TV is a privilege and privileges go/stay away when boys don't behave. 

Blue is not behaving.

Yes, this kid. Not behaving.

Kaden got hit at school this week. Not a fight. Seemingly an isolated event, maybe a boy was goofing off and made a mistake, maybe he felt like being a jerk and Kaden had the misfortune of being next to him. The teacher didn't see it. Details were vague. We aren't sounding any alarms with the school over it. In our conversation about whether of not we were going to do anything Kevin said, "We have one boy who hits and one boy who gets hit."

Last week Blue punched a kid in the stomach. Blue said he did it because the kid was talking in line. Um, who made you bad cop? I made Blue draw an apology picture to the kid and a note. Blue's never written anything but his name but he knows how to write his letters so he told me what he wanted to say and letter by letter I spelled and he wrote. We also had many a conversation about being a good friend and losing friends when we aren't nice to them.

So this week Blue spit on some kids and took a kids dollar and shoved it in a drain (all playground incidents) so it was irretrievable.

Hmmmm. Maybe I'm not getting my message across.

Blue had to take a dollar from his own wallet to pay the kid back. And as for the spitting? Well, TV ain't back. And it became a ZERO privileges day. (When he simply got to shadow Mommy all day. These suck for both of us.) He's also been warned that karate and computers, after school activities I pay extra for, will go away in February if he doesn't get it together. (Which wouldn't be the end of the world. I could take that extra money and go get a massage.)

We are raising a punk.

The other day he took Kaden's homework off the desk, clipped it to a pants hanger, and hung it in the closet.

?!?!?!

A very annoying 15 minutes were spent looking for this lost and unfinished homework. I had even asked Blue if he'd seen Kaden's homework paper and he lied and said no. (It is possible he didn't realize what paper he was hanging up but he is smart enough to know that if Kaden and I were frantically scouring the bedroom for a sheet of paper it was very likely the paper he had moved.) When I found the homework and quickly realized how it got there. Blue got sent to bed. At 6:30.

So done.

Oh and he's been playing in the bathroom at school with the soap and water, making messes. When his teacher told me this story in front of Blue she sounded incredulous that a 5-year-old needed supervision in the bathroom. I was thinking, ha! At our house he's not allowed to brush his teeth on his own or wipe his own butt (Things Kaden did by age 3.) because of the messes we know he'll make. 

But all of this still falls within the realm of Blue being Blue. Sorta. He's kicked it up a notch. And spitting was one of his go-to behaviors last year when he was in ultra-defiance mode. Also, the fact that he really seems overrun by his impulsiveness and can't reign it in long enough to earn back privileges that I know he wants is worrisome. 

The first pee incident occurred last January mid month. That we have escalating "behaviors" at this particular time of year has not escaped my attention.

If I have three trains on the train track and you have two, how many trains are on the train track?

I wanted a picture of Blue because I knew I'd be writing this post so I lured him to the table where Toby and I were still eating breakfast by telling him we'd do math. Blue is very jealous of the math worksheets Kaden comes home with every day.  

I can entice the kid with the promise of math.

He's a sweet punk.

And we pray EVERY DAY that we can mold the sweet and push down the punk.

And you should pray with us too, because while he does make for funny blog posts, if we don't succeed it will eventually be YOUR tax dollars providing for his public legal services and jail time. 

Just sayin'

In All Seasons... Thankful.

I spent a lot of time at the end of last year pondering my own lack of thankfulness. When the dust (or rather the urine) has settled and Blue was consistently behaving (for Blue) again and I had time to reflect on my own whininess and, lets me honest, anger, I knew my lack of joy in those circumstances (still dwelling on I Thes 5:18) had everything to do with entitlement.

I am a fragile X carrier. I dealt with that blow. I adopted a boy from Russia.

I loved, LOVED living in Wilmington, NC, but God called us to Texas for Kevin's flight training. Me, a democrat, moving to east, podunk Texas. Talk. About. Sacrifice. (But I came around. There's definitely a soft spot in my heart for Texas.)

And in Texas, we terrific martyrs that we are, become foster parents

Foster parents who ended up in a legal nightmare. But we won. And we adopted again.

Meanwhile I ended up pregnant (surprise!) and shortly after our third son was born we received his Fragile X diagnosis.

And then we moved. With very little money and the knowledge that Kevin would be gone all the time traveling to raise his support/salary before we could be full-time with MFI.

During this we lived with my mother.

And I shared a room with my terrible-sleeper baby so for 5 months I didn't sleep. As in, four straight hours, was a good night. FOR FIVE MONTHS.

But then we got a house! And we loved our house! And Kevin had enough support to start with MFI! And we were all together again! And Toby started sleeping! And from August 2010 till about mid-January 2011 life was really, really good. 

And after so much struggle and sacrifice and I felt entitled to be in this good place. I felt as though 2011 would be our year to breath a little and focus on the little things. Like having people over for dinner. Seriously our main goal for 2011 was having more people over for dinner.

And then my perfect, happy year with perfect happy dinner parties crumbled because of the defiance of one pissy four-year-old.

And I lost my joy. 

Because I wanted one NORMAL year. I felt entitled to one NORMAL (bleepity, bleepin') year.

I was angry. (How dare you, God not give me a year off from sacrifice.)

But come fall. When things started to get better. I felt a little like a, well, four-year-old.

And I felt a little embarrassed that after an adoption, legal battle, moves, Fragile X diagnosis, etc, it took a four-year-old pissing all over my house, to cause me to lose my joy and shake my hand at God and say, ENOUGH.

In hindsight, feeling a little sheepish about that.

In 2012 I want my joy to overflow from thankfulness. In all seasons. In all circumstances. 

And a friend sent me the perfect gift for this goal.

33 pages in and the ice of resentment birthed from my entitlement is melting. When I closed the book for the day I headed over to the author's blog and came away with yet another gem:

There’s only one address anyone lives at and it’s always a duplex: Joy and pain always co-habit every season of life. Accept them both and keep company with the joy while the pain does it’s necessary renovations.

In 2012 I will accept the residence of joy and pain together. 

And, in the journal gifted to me by another friend, I will keep a list of 2012's daily gifts... 

Today I began:

1. Friends who give good and perfect gifts.

2. Kaden and Blue racing on the beach.

3. So many shades of blue in one land(sea)scape.

4. Piles upon piles of incredible shells just heaped onto the beach for our perusal. No hunting and gathering work needed, just to plop in the midst and scoop by the handful...

5. Legos keeping the boys entertained and a perfect playlist keeping me entertained while I made beans, corn bread and zucchini fries for dinner.

6. Kevin doing his nightly Bible study with the boys. 

Just getting started. ;-)

Out With the Old...

We have rung in the new year.  

Here we go.

I'm not making any resolutions because 2011 was not, in any way, what I expected.

My husband now considers green pepper, cucumber and humus his number one snack food and is pretty much a vegetarian.  

Um, WHAT?!

In support of this new found vegetarianism 2011 was the year I began cooking with eggplant (in my veggie pasta spaghetti sauce, eggplant parmesan, and I'm so practiced at baba ghanoush I don't even have to look at the recipe anymore). 

If you know Kevin and haven't talked to us much this year, you think I am straight up lying to you.  

CUCUMBER. KEVIN EATS CUCUMBER. Yup, 2011 = the year of big food shockers.

It was also the year I learned what hives looked like. I still haven't given Toby shellfish since his July bout. But luckily we haven't seen any recurrences. Very lucky since we never invested in the $150 in an epipen that was set to expire a few months after purchase.

In 2011 we ripped out the carpet in the Kaden and Blue's room, and instead painted and sealed the concrete. The carpet was less than a year old, looked great, but smelled like urine. Hmmmm, why could that be? 

An entire week of 2011 was devoted to scrubbing my favorite chair. Again, urine.

In 2011 I walked into Pet Smart and asked what worked best on urine smells. The guy said, "Cat or dog?" I said, 'Kid."

No. I was NOT expecting Blue's-defiance-issues-through-urine when I made 2011 resolutions. 

In 2011 I hoped to lose weight (because I'm a girl and I always hope to lose weight) but instead I went on a pill that caused me to balloon up another 15 pounds and this was even with some serious dieting when I first noticed the gain and doubling my walking route. Ugh.

In 2011 I wanted to write a novel. 40 pages is not a novel. (But it is 40 pages.)

In 2011 Kevin wanted us to have dinner guests at least every week. We managed to have dinner guests (other than my mom) about monthly but we also had a Superbowl party, Blue's t-ball party, my mom's birthday party, our small group Christmas party, and hosted Thanksgiving all at our house. We also hosted a number of out of town / over-night guests. Overall, I'm pleased with how often we had friends at our table. 

In 2011 I did more reading than in 2009 and 2010 combined. (Escaping perhaps?)

Ups. (Montana! Panama City Beach!)

Downs. (Transmission dropping in the van. Every time I heard Kaden yell out, "Blue..." The amount I spent on my long-neglected teeth.)

I just went through our 2011 album (it will be my 4th annual, 12X12, maximum-pages-they-allow Shutterfly album) I finished up the Christmas pages and spot proofed throughout before hitting the "order" button. (Got it in tonight for the 40% savings!) And it looked like a pretty friggin' fantastic time. Beach days and zoo days. Pumpkin painting and school festivities. Friends over and baseball. You know. You've seen it here.

So maybe, since we have survived it after all, mostly ups.

As for 2012...

I hope I lose that 15 pounds. (Plus another 5? 10?)  I'm two weeks off that pill and Kevin tells me we start P90X after my birthday cake is gone (dang January birthdays).

Read less if it means I write more. 

Say NO to projects (no pinterest for me) if they take away from writing. (But I do have this great idea for a trail ride/bon fire party for Kaden's 8th birthday in March...)

I hope I don't have to go back to the psychiatrist with Blue.

I hope we are happy in May when Toby transitions from Early Steps to the school board in terms of his special needs services.

I hope Blue learns how to read.

And Toby takes to the new potty seat I bought him today.

I hope we do a better job of getting to know our neighbors.

And for us, there are always trips.

Key West Literary Seminar!

Miami Fragile X Conference!

Kevin's Deportation - we plan to get the whole family back to Texas for a visit.

Hoping and praying for these things, but trusting and seeking no matter what 2012 brings. Because with my crazy guys... you just never know.

In the Middle of Two

Weeeeeee

November 23rd marked two and a half for Toby. So yup, we are smack in the very middle of two-ness. 

Schedule:
We're busy during the week. Every morning we drop off Kaden and then Blue and then on Mondays and Tuesday it's off to Speech and OT. Wednesdays is usually grocery shopping. Thursdays is Toby's My Gym class, and Fridays is play therapy at the house. Then we get Blue, have lunch, go for a walk, read books, and probably skip nap time, because most days Toby won't nap anymore. Instead of a nap, he'll probably watch Sesame Street or, these days, some Christmas something. Then it's probably time to pick up Kaden and maybe play outside a little before I have to cook dinner while the boys hopefully play in the play area or if that isn't working out so well, I put on another show. Dinner by 6pm. Then bath, more books, and especially since nap time is pretty much over, in bed shortly after 7pm.  If Toby has napped then he'll play more and stay up till at least 8pm.

Aggression:
I hate that this is the very next category in two-land, but it's what I'm most conscious of right now with Toby. 

In the middle of two we have hit an aggressive patch. I think it's anxiety and/or over stimulation related but it can show up any time.  As in, one morning, I walked in to get Toby out of his crib and he was slapping his leg, his face already set to angry and stubborn mode. Goooood morning! 

I am guaranteed at least one good slap when we go to My Gym - usually around the 30 minute mark which is when he starts to max out. If I try to get him to participate in an activity he doesn't want to try - another good smack or maybe bite.

The other morning I had a doc apt and my mom came to the house and I left to bring Blue to school without Toby (and then off to my apt.). Break in the norm. Lots of slapping before I got out the door.

Watching T.V. and something scary comes on or if someone on the show is angry Toby starts smacking the person next to him.  

Not his funnest coping mechanism.

When it first started there seemed to be a little defiance mixed in. Once he came up and smacked my leg and yelled, "Time out!" So I quickly learned not to turn it in to a power struggle. In general the plan is to redirect and/or model behavior I'd rather see. If he goes to hit, I may say, "Not nice. Toby we give kisses, hugs and gentle touch." As I'm saying this he's getting a kiss, big compressing squeeze and a soft touch on the face. He will often then proceed to stroke your face and say gentle. 

"No" and "time out" are often trigger/escalating words, but say the word "gentle" when he rears back for a slap and there's a good chance he'll stop. 

We've also started brushing more. If he's wound up I'll ask him if wants to be brushed and he often goes to his room for the brush. The other day I started on his arm and he said, "back," so I switched to brushing his back and you could just feel him easing up.  He knew what he needed. 

I'm getting better about predicting his triggers. During Blue's drop off, for example, Toby always gets wound up. I think because he wants to stay and be a big kid. I'm trying to say goodbye to Blue, maybe chat with his teacher, and sign the sign-in but Toby's fighting me the whole time - trying to run off or maybe throwing himself to the floor. Fun! These days my tactic is that I hold Toby (don't bother with the sometimes-stressor of socks and shoes) and just as I take him out of the car I hand him a sippy cup with juice. Now he's too busy chugging to try to squirm free and I can get through drop off much more easily.

So we've had some issues but I've learned to adjust my strategies and it's... manageable.  

Holidays:
Seeing this terrible side of two worried me with the holiday decorations coming out, but so far so good. For one, we have a bunch of stuff the kids are allowed to play with. These push-a-button-and-they-sing things for example. Also the Little People nativity.

This helps with redirection, but I was still worried about the tree, some Santas that are in reach, and some nativities also in reach, but these things seem to have taken on a magic Christmas force field. He has shown ZERO interest. Merry Christmas to me!

Still working on getting him to say "Merry Christmas" with little luck, BUT...

His love for singing continues and his favorite Christmas carol seems to be Angels We Have Heard on High (tied with Jingle Bells). Usually it's a lot of mumbling but tonight he totally landed on "in excelsis Deo." Kevin just shook his head at me as if to say, Only YOUR son. (I sing a lot.) 

Likes:
*He loves to draw. Drawing very often gets us through grocery shopping. A notepad lives in my purse at all times. I wish he would be as excited about the magnadoodle (less messy, less paper waste) but he's not. Also, all commands to "keep it on the paper" are ignored. After a shopping trip Toby's clothes and legs are usually decorated, and at home...

This doesn't bother me as much as the crayon eating. At some point he always gets bored with the drawing and switches to crayon munching. This always seems to happen when I've stopped paying attention for a moment. I get it the first time, but wax is gross. Why does he go back to it? Hey Toby, I'll save you some trouble - ALL the colors taste the SAME.

*Bill Bob. His official name is Bill Bob the Destroyer. He's a random happy meal type toy that's been with us for like, five years maybe and I had no idea who he was so I named him Bill Bob the Destroyer (he's fierce and bad guy looking). Toby loves him so much that today when I told him to go to the car he stood by the door and said, "Be-Bob. Car. Be-Bob!" (Bill Bob lives in the car with the bag of car toys.) Made me laugh.

*He LOVES to swing and when we swing, we count. So Toby can pretty much count to 20 in English and to 10 in Spanish. For serious. The way he says quatro is so friggin' adorable.

Talking:
Toby recently did not qualify for a Fragile X study because he has too many words. They are looking for kids with twenty or less and I figure Toby's got at least 200 that he uses without prompting. The study is in California and requires about 6 trips in as many months so I wasn't sure we were going to do it anyway, but he didn't qualify! That's a good thing!

Two-word phrases... not so often. Sentences... Well, Toby thinks he is talking in sentences. He goes on and on with garbled who-knows-what. I'm pretty sure he thinks that he's speaking as clearly as when he says one word and doesn't realize his brain and tongue aren't in sync. The funny thing is, I think he's on the right track. The fact that he is attempting language as his primary communication is terrific. So many FX kids are non verbal and Toby remains within a few months range of "typical" in this area.

Eating:
Toby is a stuffer and sometimes we sit there and remind him after every bite, "Wait. Empty mouth first." One bite." (etc. etc.) it's just so much easier to feed him his meals by setting only about two bites at a time in front of him.

And he could probably totally do the utensil thing, and at times has... but in addition to the stuffing a full plate of food before him poses another risk. A play risk. It's like his brain gets overwhelmed by the abundance of it and he begins to see all the possibilities.  Not good.

The other day I talked him through a whole bowl of pasta. He even ate most of it with a spoon, but then I went into the kitchen and left the bowl with just a little bit of sauce at the bottom still in front of him. And then...

In the time it took me to set something on the kitchen counter, he managed to miraculously multiply the sauce and get it everywhere. That's a wipe in his hand. This pic is after the clean up process had already begun.

Potty Training:
Ha ha ha. No. Let me get through the holidays before I even consider that please.  

Sleep:
As I said, nap time has all but been left behind. He maybe naps once or twice a week now.  At night he sleeps through 75-80% of the time. The rest of the time... It's anybody's guess. On December 6th (I know this because I was up late working to get an order in with Shutterfly before a sale ended on Dec 7th) Toby woke up at 2am (which really sucked for me who went to bed at 1am) and didn't go back to sleep until after 5am.  And only then because Daddy dumped him in bed with me before leaving to meet a friend for breakfast. I have no idea where nights like that come from.  

In other two news:
When he's occupied by a sippy cup or an episode of Harold and the Purple Crayon, he's the BEST snuggler. Otherwise, he's the wiggliest squiggliest thing there is and watch out, he's got some bony elbows and you're likely to catch one the eye or something with all his ups and downs off the couch, over your body to get something, on you to sit for half a second, etc.

He is becoming a better climber. The problem with this is that Toby will climb on our playset and then refuse to go down the slide so I have to be the one to take him down every time. The other day I was walking over to get him and he bumped his head. 

Here's Toby's sad face:

According to Kevin Toby and I have the exact same frown. 

Oh and if Toby bumps his head, I am at fault and get smacked for this. Never mind that I crossed the yard to rescue him off the playset.

But we can't end on that face. Here's Toby riding a rocking horse at my mom's:

We've hit our bumps, but mostly Toby is happily learning, playing, and growing up way too fast through two.

What happened to my baby?!

Presenting... Blue! Now Five!

Happy Birthday, Monkey Boy!

Oh, Blue. Where do I begin?  November marked 4 years of you in our family, and although we missed most of your first year, we've never missed a birthday. What happened to that little one-year-old boy in Chuck E Cheese's who, while Mom was trying to take pictures, didn't blow out your candle but picked it up and brought that little flame close to your little face? 

(Our friend Elizabeth saved you by blowing it out for you.)

These days there is no more baby left in that face. You eat a lot but you're a skinny thing. You eat when you're supposed to, and even when you're not supposed to like tonight when Oma was watching you, but stepped away to put Toby to bed and you raided the pantry and stuffed your face with chocolate chips. The sad thing is, when I got home and this was the extent of the "Blue report," I just sorta shrugged and thought, whatever. 

You are an outgoing ball of energy who CAN'T STAND STILL! You like Kung Fu Panda, so it's the theme of your birthday party. You also love Jake and the Neverland Pirates. You really wish I'd let our family get a cat. You've got Daddy in your corner on this one but I do the budgeting around here and I know what one bad vet bill does to our short term savings account, so no more pets right now. Obviously my money talk means nothing to you, so you've asked Daddy to wait till I'm sleeping and then to go get a cat. You think you can do anything you want when I'm sleeping. This is why I stay up so late and have trained myself to wake up at the sound of your feet hitting the floor. I shouldn't have said that, you are now working out how to walk on your hands...

You don't know a stranger.  Last night while getting our Christmas tree you treated the scaryish looking man at the tree lot like he was your BFF. You wanted him to strap you to the top of the car with the tree, but I'm pretty sure he didn't understand you. You're pretty squeaky when you get exited.  And you were excited. Christmas trees! Santa hats!!

Five is the gum birthday. I know it's just an abitrary age I set, but giving gum to someone younger than five seemed unsafe to me. Where would said gum end up, I always wondered. So I set an age on its legality in our household.  When Kaden turned five he got gum and we took a picture of him chewing gum and he was so happy to be of the legal Stratton gum-chewing age.  For you, buying you gum as a special present would be like buying a six-pack as a present for the 21 year old who's been drinking it up since his early teens. Whatever. You willl find chewed up gum stuck somewhere and chew it up some more.  (SO gross.) You've kinda taken the fun out of the gum birthday thing. 

We recently argued about when you'll get to drive. I told you the legal age was 16. You said you were going to start driving at 14.  I said, you'd get arrested. You said you wouldn't. I explained to you what "Juvee" was, that you would go there, and that I would not bail you out. Also, I took it as a bad sign that I was explaining to a four-year-old about Juvenile Detention Centers.

You know that Kaden started losing his baby teeth shortly after turning five so this past week you've been complaining about loose teeth. Liar.

You know that 5 is the age where you start kindergarten.  For many weeks you kept asking me about whether or not you would get to stay in your VPK class after you were five.  I'm thankful you aren't the first one to have a birthday. I reminded you of the kids who've already turned five, that they weren't magically swept away to kindgerten and you too, would get to wait until August. 

I'll be blunt. Much of year four, for you, sucked. Because of your defiant and destructive behaviors we saw weeks at a time where you weren't allowed to do anything but sit in my line of sight. I'd RSVP to birthday parties and then have to call back and apologize and say you were no longer allowed to attend. This may sound drastic to some parents but those parents probably haven't had their kids urinate on their furniture on purpose. Enough said. 

I can tell this transition into FIVE has caused a little anxiety. It can't help that the house is in turmoil as bright and shiny Christmasy things find their places all around. You've had a few of your old detructive behaviors this past week and a few times where you're just not doing what you're told, trying to assert that you don't have to. Um, that's not working out so well for you. Have you forgotten that my middle name is CONSISTENCY and I NEVER TIRE of discipline. So let's just take a deep breath, chew some gum and ease into this whole five thing, k? You got this.

You have chosen the oh-so-elegant Taco Bell for you birthday dinner. Clearly I have failed you somehow.

You have a clever mind. You talk non stop. You like your Leapster but would much rather be playing Daddy's ipod or Kaden's DS. You love to play dress up and will be very excited to know that a Buzz Lightyear costume is soon coming your way. (A Yoda costume too, but not till Christmas.) You can write your name, Toby, and Kaden. You aren't really reading yet because I can't get you to sit stll for any reading lessons.  I may have to take advantage of your computer/gadget love and find some reading programs instead of basic books. This may be the key.  

We love you, Blue. Underneath all that trouble you stir up, is a sweet and loving heart. (You were so adorably worried about Daddy after his surgery in October.) Together, eventually, we'll figure out how to use your energy and maybe even your mischieviousness for good. In the meantime, you make for the best blog stories. 

Love,

Mom

Mr. Silly Rotten Stinker

A few things our Tobes has been up to this week:

Walked in on Toby playing peekaboo with his Elmos.

Walked in on Toby sitting ON TOP of the dining room table "helping" Blue with a workbook page.

Also:

*Toby pulls on me all day and says, "Horsie? Horsie?" But in the event that I give in, and get down on all fours, he usually just starts laughing so hard ne never actually climbs on my back.

*He loves to wash Blues hair. As in, I put the shampoo on Blue's head and Toby wants to be the one to work it into a lather.

*If you know Toby at all you know that he loves to sing. A few weeks ago, out of nowhere, he added the Happy Birthday song to his repertoire of songs he will bust out with at any time for no apparent reason. The other day I was changing his diaper and he started singing the Happy Birthday song. When he got to, "Happy birthday dear...." He filled that in with, "Poopy."  

Yup, my kid sang Happy Birthday to his poop.

*Toby has never climbed to the second level of our outdoor playset. Wednesday afternoon when I really wanted to finish the book for my book group that night, I thought, throw kids in backyard and I get to sit on the patio and read. This was the day Toby decided he would climb the steps to the second level. Blue yells for me. I run over. Toby reaches to get down. I put him back at the steps and tell him to go up. But with me there? No way. He acted like even putting two feet on the FIRST STEP was IMPOSSIBLE. So I walked away. Without Mommy available anymore, he was back to the top before I'd made it back across the yard to my book. So much for reading time.

*We have just, in the past month, introduced Toby to the concept of timeout. Usually for hitting me.  Yesterday, he came up, smacked me on the leg, and then in my stern voice, said, TIME OUT!  (He's winning; I'm losing.)

*He has a cradle full of stuffed animals, a tub full of board books, and a basket full of toys in his room, but when he's in there he usually prefers to take all his clothes out of his drawers and all of his diapers out of the bin where I keep them and spread these things all over.

*On Wednesday at Blue's Thanksgiving Feast not only was Toby up there standing with Blue's class, but he also attempted to sing along to the songs he'd never heard and made up motions.

My silly, rotten sinker... has been keeping us very entertained.